Over the years of using social media, I have made these rules for myself. They have helped me to manage social media in my life instead of social media managing my life.
1. I don’t keep social media on my phone.
Like most social media users, I don’t like it. I don’t like how it makes me feel or how it makes me view other people. I have kept it for two reasons: (1) church, and (2) friends. If I really only use it to promote church activities, connect with community members for the sake of my church, share thoughts that benefit my church members, and keep up or share updates with friends, then why do I need it on my phone where I can look at it every time I get bored or frustrated with a task? Well, I don’t need to. So I don’t. Ninety-five percent of the time, I have to access social media on my computer.
2. I don’t comment on other people’s posts to argue.
Arguing online is generally unhelpful in my opinion. If I disagree, I can walk away or write my own post. Everyone’s opinions are based on emotions more than they think. Comments cannot communicate emotion with tone of voice, touch, or expressions. My comment will probably be misunderstood without those features.
3. If someone comments on my post to disagree, I usually respond briefly and invite an offline conversation
I won’t convince anyone online. Why waste my energy typing in a comments section? I’ve never once had someone take me up on meeting in person. I’ve only once had someone change their approach to disagreement with me after I told them they could reach out to me personally when they disagreed instead of impugning my character on a public post. If they won’t take the time to grow through disagreement, why would I try to do that online?
4. I unfollow and block often.
I’m always hesitant to do this because I want to interact with people I disagree with. But I’m social media friends with lots of folks who have proven themselves to be pretty toxic, at least online. No reason to ruin my day because they want to spread their unhappiness, anxieties, or complaints.
5. I don’t assume everyhing about someone from one social media posts or even a few.
People are more complex and inconsistent than we think. If someone cared about one world event enough to post (or felt like they should), it doesn’t mean they don’t care about the next one just because they don’t post about it. If I have a problem with what somebody posts, I need to talk to them more often, pray for them, move on, and/or unfollow them. I can control how I respond, even if I can’t control what they think, say, or do. One is my responsibility, and the other is not.
These are my rules. They don’t have to be yours.
Chandler Warren 